No matter who you are, it’s the age old question of “How do you know if you love someone?” But what makes that question so much more important and even harder to answer is having mental illnesses.
The problem arises when you don’t know if you REALLY like someone or if it’s just your fear of abandonment or your clingyness or whatever that’s keeping you with someone.
But it’s really important to know if you’re in an unhealthy state of a relationship or if you really are meant to be. For me, with BPD I can come REALLY attached to someone really quickly or not be able to even be around people if I decide I don’t like them for no reason. So I have very few friends. So when I do get close to someone I go overboard, and I don’t know if it’s really love or if it’s just that I finally found someone who wants to spend time with me.the same kind of open
I think it’s different for everyone, but for me, some things that help me know if I really love being around someone or if it’s just loneliness.
Guidelines for me:
Make sure you’re comfortable with someone when you’re just relaxing or going out. Just make sure you can be yourself.
Make sure they’re the same kind of person you are, for example, if you’re a closed bedroom door kind of person, make sure they’re not an open bedroom door kind of person.
Make sure they have similar values
And most importantly, I know if I really care about someone then ALLLL the annoying things that everyone does that makes me crazy doesn’t bother me at all. For example, snoring, dragging feet, eating habits, etc. If you really care about them, then you don’t even notice those things that make you want to kill everyone around you.
Just make sure you know what you need. Make sure you’re not with people who don’t meet your requirements. I’m not always so good at it, but I’m trying.