One of the most vulnerable things about having mental illnesses or even just going through a rough time is reaching out for help. For those of you who are in therapy and those who have looked into it but couldn’t proceed for whatever reason know it’s one of the hardest things to do.
It’s also one of the most key elements to recovery. Finding a good therapist is hard, and having to find a new therapist and halt treatment is even harder.
I have been in weekly therapy since January up until a couple months ago. When I moved I made arrangements with my therapist in Texas whom I really liked, and seemed to be helping me make progress. But not that I haven’t been seeing her for a couple months due to money issues, I can’t get a hold of her. I know I need to get back into treatment ASAP.
But it’s hard finding someone who is both affordable and someone you can connect to. Today I spent most of the day looking online for affordable counseling in my area. The problem is I need a specialist which is not cheap, and I need regular long term treatment.
I after many many calls, I talked to someone who I thought might be a good fit. But even if I qualify for his sliding scale fee it’s $75 per session. And that’s $300 a month. I know I can’t afford that, I mean I could barley afford $25 a week.
What am I going to do? I can’t kill myself working to try to afford therapy. That would only be counter productive to recovery and trying to feel better.
I honestly can’t figure out how people do this, I know it’s something I desperately need. And I know I won’t stay out of the hospital without it. But how do people who are in as bad of a situation as me afford it. I work, yes. But I still haven’t caught up on my bills from the last time I was out of work because I was too depressed to get out of bed. And I’m only making barley over minimum wage.
I don’t want a new therapist, I don’t want to start over, I don’t want the progress I made the last 8 months to mean nothing. it just seems easier to forget it all and forget about therapy and wallow and hate myself. It’s deff cheaper to do that. I just don’t know.