I usually write late at night, but I’m starting this post early because I think it’s going to take a while to write.
I’m writing this letter for my future self to read when I feel bad and like I can’t make it through. I hope it gets you to either feel like it’s something you can also look back on or inspire you to write your own letter to yourself…
Dear future me,
I know if you’re reading this it’s because you are feeling down. And I know when you feel down you start feeling nostalgic. I know you’ve probably already gone through all your childhood pictures and maybe even some pictures on facebook. I know if you have a best friend you’ve probably texted them.
At this point I know you’re desperate to feel better, and you probably feel like you don’t deserve to feel better. You feel like you don’t deserve to live. You’re contemplating suicide or self harm. You feel alone and scared and numb.
Here’s some things to remember:
- You still have ambitions- If you still have ambitions you have a purpose. I know you don’t think you are good enough but you are. You’re creative and innovative to get things done.
- You DO have people who care about you. You have come so far in life and made it this long, and that’s only because of the people who believed in you and helped you when you couldn’t manage on your own.
- You are constantly making progress. You started from nowhere with nothing and you have your own place to live and a job (I’m assuming). And if you don’t you’ve always been good at getting jobs instantly.
- You’ve gone so long without self harm or an attempt, don’t jeopardize it now. You want to make it farther than you ever have before. Eventually you’ll go days then weeks then months without thinking about hurting yourself.
- And lastly, you have your animals. I don’t know if you still have frenchie, or marshmallow or some other animal. But I KNOW YOU, you have got some badass animals that depend on you and you need to be there and get your shit together for them. Because what would they do without you?
You have survived so much and you have been so strong through you’re entire life. You have been broken down and beaten and sick but you still TRY to get up and do what you need to do to live every day. And that’s not someone who wants to kill themselves, that’s someone who is desperate for help and wants to live.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re not still in therapy you need to work on that, we both know you need professional help. And that’s not a bad thing, it makes you stronger and less lonely. So make sure you keep up with your health.
I hope you’re feeling better health wise, but I know if you’re this down you are probably feeling pretty shitty too. Just make sure you keep up with feeling better, trying and hard work is the only way things will change for the better.
Do me a favor, do something for you. Right now. Make a list to sort things out. You know you love lists. Drink some chocolate milk, or eat some oreos, make some macaroni– do something that makes you feel better instantly. Put on cat in the hat or willy wonka and just relax and feel good for the moment.
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. Be prepared for it, be ready to change, be ready to try. YOU GOT THIS.
–Past you 🙂