Hey guys, It’s the middle of the night here in Colorado. I got a couple hours of sleep but that’s it.

For those of you out there with chronic pain and illnesses you know you probably spend more nights awake in bed than you do sleeping.

Tonight was especially hard for me. I have had chronic headaches for as long as I can remember. Now I know a lot of people think having migraines is worse, and it might be in the moment. But the difference is that I wake up with a headache and go to bed with a headache every day of my life and there’s no cure or medicine that can fix it.

Tonight I had the worst pain I’ve ever had in my head, I was crying in bed for hours before I finally cried myself to sleep. But then I only even got 2 hours, and I’ve been up now for 4. I think I’m going to write a different post soon about the wonders of medical cannabis. But just to give you an idea of everything I tried tonight, I drank lots of water, took lots of advil, tried CBD oil, codeine, and finally more stronger cannabis. All of this for no alleviation and only to have my body feeling like shit now that I lay here awake.

I think chronic pain and mental illness go hand in hand and only perpetuate the other. I can’t feel happy if I’m constantly in pain. And if I’m constantly in pain and see no way out I’ll be down in the dumps and suicidal. But given a day without pain I could see myself actually tying to enjoy life. So every day I work for a day with little to no pain.

I guess there’s a few points to this blog post, one is to rant. But secondly, I don’t think there should ever be put a scale on whose chronic illness is worse, it’s all painful and it all causes major changes in your life that keep you from being able to do normal things. Third, It also is just to say not to give up, I’ve been dealing with this my whole life and recently have found some natural remedy that are helping. Yay cannabis. It might not take away all the pain, but normally there’s a significant reduction (just not tonight)

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