Hey guys, I feel like everytime I’m writing lately i have to start with an apology for it being so long since I’ve written last. Things have just been super crazy. I think about writing every day, but what if I have nothing useful to say?
I don’t know. So quick update, I went to the psychiatrist for the first time since I moves, my meds wern’t working and I was becoming very depressed and suicidal again.
The problem is that, the psychiatrist gave me false hope. He told me within 4 days I should feel world of difference, and it’s been 2 weeks and I feel nothing. I still feel down, but worse. The medication he took me off of stopped my racing mind, and this new one doesn’t. So now I’m still depressed AND I have a racing mind again.
One thing I can’t stand is false hope. One day I’m ready to kill myself or die, and the next I have someone saying they have the solution and it doesn’t work. It makes me feel like I’m too broken to be fixed and like I’m weird because it should have worked.
So now I’m just trying to get through every day. I try to sleep as much as I can so I don’t have to think about how bad I feel.
I’m sorry I didn’t have anything uplifting to share, like I have my whole lie turned around and I’m fantastic. I just needed to get off everything that’s been going on. It’s not like I have a lot of friends. I’m almost even too depressed and lazy to add tags to this, but I will.