Therapy is hard for so many reasons, especially group therapy. It’s hard to find the right therapist that you can connect with and it’s hard to find a group of people who you mesh with. And then, to find a group with both people you mesh with AND a therapist you connect with is damn near impossible. So where do you compromise? If you find a good group but don’t like the therapist do you leave in search for the perfect group? Because that can be extremely discouraging.
I wondered if maybe group therapy just isn’t my thing, I wondered if I was the only one who felt this way. What changed my mind is I ended up in DBT therapy with a fantastic group with two therapists I hated. So what could I do? What should I do? It’s a 5 week program, am I just supposed to quit because I don’t feel like I’m listened to? I decided to make the best of my group members and to lean on them for support and connection since I couldn’t get that from the therapists.
What I’ve decided is that having a hella great group is much more beneficial than having a good therapist but with no one you can make that emotional connection and support with. Here’s my reasoning, the biggest help of group therapy is the group support you get. If the therapist and you don’t connect, that sucks, but having a great therapist is for individual. So the way I see it is focus shopping around for your individual therapist. And if you have a group that just doesn’t work for you, that’s when you should start shopping around for a new group.
What’s it like to have a group that is perfect in both ways? Well I don’t know, I’ve tried several groups and there’s always something wrong or that bothers me. I hope one day I can get the perfect balance out of a group. I know group therapy can be really helpful for BPD, I just want to be able to see the effects of it and not hurt worse from it.